Ode to my Ass

There is no denying
my ass is ample,
large, round
A full moon
of soft squishy, squeeeezable flesh.
It stretches a mile…
maybe more.

Draws attention,
announcing its presence
demanding that you stand up
and take notice!

It has it’s own fan club, you know,
with t-shirts, and bumper stickers.
Being an ass of size
it has a zip code
and just might qualify as the 51st state,
flag emblazoned with a large round moon!
“I pledge allegiance to that ample ass
and the united states of euphoria”
Sir Mix-a-Lot said it best
because “this baby’s got back”

but I digress…

You see, I never hated my ass
I never ever did leg lifts, squats, lunges
until I couldn’t walk,
and certainly never considered
liposuctioning this ass away,
surgically sucking this big booty into oblivion.
I was never taunted at school
with words like 'bubble butt', 'fat ass',
or clever jabs like
“Your ass is so big, when you walk past the television
We miss three episodes of Batman!"

You know, I never, never, ever heard lewd, lustful comments like
“Hey baby, bring that big booty over here!”

There were times I wished I was black
because decent white girls didn’t have asses
that drew so much attention.
When at a party, I sought out even bigger asses to cover mine.

I am a damned Yankee and this ass is from the deep South
so I waged a civil war
with the collateral damage of self loathing.

…They say time heals all wounds.
Maybe so, but some wounds take more time than others.

Today, however, I understand
that this ample ass fills out a pair of tight jeans nicely.
When sitting on hard metal bleachers
at my daughter’s swim meets,
I never have to bring a cushion.
My skirt sah-wings above my legs
suspended by the luxurious ballast
of my ample ass.
It keeps me grounded,
my center of gravity low
so I won’t tip over
or lose my balance
when I hear things like
“Hey baby, bring that big booty over here!” because today, I know I make the decision whether to walk your way or not.

If I don’t, know I am not afraid to let the door hit my big ass on the way out.
Me and my ample, we’ll simply smile and go on about our day

By the way, don’t even think about making cruel comments,
Because, you may think you’ve seen my ass, but
you've not even begun to see me show my ass.
My ass is an asset, a cushion for the pushin'
and you don't get to sample this ample without
showing me some respect.

You see, my ample, round, bodacious, booty-lovely ass and I have become the best of friends
and Baby….together
we’ve got our back!

~ Mk Michaels