Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you. ~ Kahlil Gibran
I first heard Kahlil Gibran’s 'On Children' long before I had children. They were sung by two dear friends, Joyce and Jacque, who as singers and a songwriting duo created some of the most beautiful music I’ve ever heard. Although they did not write On Children, their rendition of the piece set to music resonated in my heart long ago and has remained there to this day. These words, still heard in my head and heart in Joyce’ and Jacque’s voices, have defined how I parent. As the mother of two children, a daughter (19 years old) and a son (nearly 15 years old), I am so incredibly proud of the people they are and that they are completely comfortable finding their own way, even if it is not my way.
It has not always been easy to strike the balance between empowering my kids and keeping them safe; sometimes we have had clashes between their desire to be authentically themselves and my own fears for what their choices might bring into their lives, but we always found a good middle ground. By and large, they have made really good choices and, in the course of this, they have become independent, kind, hard working, and confident young adults. We have been through a lot together, my children and me, and there is no doubt we will go through more of this life being individuals who are entirely connected. ~ Mk Michaels
