When you judge another, you do not define them, you define
yourself. ~ Wayne Dyer
Oh how harshly we can judge others at times! We judge behaviors, appearances, parenting, opinions,
decisions, possessions, and on and on and on.
We judge with such prejudice and are fully confident that we are ‘better’
than those we are judging. Here is what
I have learned though ~ virtually without exception, everything I have ever
judged has come full circle to bite me in the ass. When I was in my twenties and judged that
mother at the grocery with the child who threw a kicking, screaming tantrum in
the cereal aisle? Guess what? That was me in my thirties. The woman who was struggling to balance her career
and parenting ‘not doing a very good job of either’ who I judged in my
thirties? That was me in my forties. Full circle, I tell you, full circle. The reality is that as I was judging others,
I had no clue what the reality of their life, their day, or that moment was
like. For shame…
Because I am much more capable of seeing beyond what meets the
eye and giving others the benefit of the doubt at this stage in life, I am much
slower to judge. Instead of disparaging what
I view as a lapse in judgment at work resulting in a bad outcome, I attempt to
refocus the conversation and create a learning opportunity. Instead of judging someone who spoke unkindly
of me, I try to understand the underlying reasons for the bad behavior,
typically fear or envy, and return it with compassion, light, and love. Instead of staying mired down in the negative
of a situation and even stirring the pot further, I endeavor to rise above and
not add more to a bad situation. In staying
out of the judging fray, I believe I am not only doing less harm in the present
time, but also limiting what could come full circle and bite me in the
future. By choosing to limit my judgment
of others, I am also choosing kindness, compassion, a more gracious existence,
and defining myself as someone I can be proud to be in front of my children,
for they are always watching. ~ Mk Michaels
