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| Photo: @koshuphotography via @Unsplash |
“Thank you
for sharing this.”
“Thank you
for saying that.”
“Thank you
for speaking up.”
“Thank you
for your boldness.”
“Thank you
for your honesty.”
“Thank you.”
Please don’t
thank me.
You shouldn’t have
to thank me for being
Decent
Aware
Honest
The truth is, I
am embarrassed by your gratitude.
(in
this, I realize my embarrassment makes the conversation about me yet again)
I am embarrassed
it took so long for me to really get it
and speak up in
this way,
Embarrassed or
not, I am speaking up all the same.
I’m sorry it
took so long.
In truth, it is
me who should thank you.
I should thank
you
for continuing
to speak even when you thought I wasn’t listening
for breaking it
down for me … One. More. Time.
so I could hear
it and finally understand.
For a smart
woman,
I’ve been shockingly
slow on the uptake.
Thank you for
not giving up,
although I am
aware you had no choice but to continue.
Your ‘thank you’
makes me realize
you haven’t
expected help from me
and you’ve been
disappointed by my relative silence
too many times
before.
Maybe you even
had given up.
Maybe you’ve just
tried to live your life,
at least until
the next Black person died
at the hands of
those I’d been taught are here to serve and protect.
Maybe you’d stopped
hoping for change
until the next
time one too many impediments
were thrown in
your way as you went to simply secure your vote.
Maybe you’d
found your peace
until you were trigged and traumatized again,
only moments later.
So, as much as
I appreciate that my actions are seen,
please, please
don’t thank me for them.
I am far more
than fashionably late
to the party.
I’m sorry it
took so long.
~ Mk Michaels, 2020
